Jumat, 24 April 2015
Good Evening Miss Uut.
Good Evening Guys.
I will tell you about description of Mark Zuckerberg and My dreams.
A. Description of Mark Zuckerberg
Before it, do you know who is Mark Zuckerberg? Mark Zuckerberg is an intellegent person who founded Facebook. His full name is Mark Elliot Zuckerberg. Mark was born on May 14th, 1984 in New York. And now, he is 30 years old. He has three sisters. Since childhood, Zuckerberg likes tinkering with computers. He tried a variety of computer programs and learned to make it.
When he was studying at Harvard University, he tried to create a website. His first project was CourseMatch. From his project, he had refusal from his friends. But, he didn’t disappointed, and continued to create new website with Facebook name. That website, he launched in February 2004. He worked very bussy during he has managing the facebook. So, Zuckerberg must decided out of Harvard University.
Facebook makes Zackerberg to be a business who has abundant wealth. He was working on Facebook, he got money reached US $ 1.5 billion and He also got degree as The Youngest `Self-made 'Billionaire on the Planet and “The Youngest Billionaire” from Forbes magazine.
Although Zackerberg has abundant wealth, he looks a simple person.
On May 19th, 2012, he was married with Priscilla Chan. And then, they lives in a small modest's apartment. And now, he works as a Chairman & CEO of Facebook.
I love his inspiration phrase "If you are share the ability for other people, you will make the world more transparent.”
MY
DREAMS
All of people have dreams. Without
dreams, we can’t life with happiness. Before it, I want to introduce myself. My
name is Andina Lidiarti. I have a lot of dreams. When I was a child, my dream
was to be a teacher and as the time goes by I have other dreams. Sometimes, I
want to be a singer, an artist, a doctor, a dancer and other interesting dreams.
Too much dreams which I want, and it make me confused to choose it. But, when I graduated from Vocational
High School, and I continue my study in State University of Semarang, I finally
know what I want to be. In State University of Semarang, I take Accounting
major. I don’t know with my dreams why I interested to be a public accountant. Actually, I don’t know what is a public accountant.
Maybe, that is revelation from God for me. So, I must hard work to throw my
dreams. Before that, I must graduate with cumlaude degree. After I graduate, I
want to work in Public Accountant Office and I want to build Accountant Office by
myself.
That is just the beginning of my
dreams. After, I work for 3 or 4 years, I will have a lot of money. In my first
dreams, I will to take my family to Makkah for “Umroh” or “Hajji”. If I reach
success, I will build a big house where there are large garden, a big swimming
pool, a karaoke room, a gym room and a mosque. Besides, I will a build a big
mosque for my village because that is one of my dream when I was a child. And I
will give a part of my money to build my village to be a better village and I
will build a free school. And also with a part of my money, I will give my
money for duafa. Because, in purpose of my life, I can advantage for many
people. If I have a lot money but I can’t
make devided and make other people feel happy too. So, what the meaning of my life?
I
think that is all I can say about my dreams. I wish my dreams come true in my
life.
Guys, please give me your feedback for my posting and I will be glad to respond your
feedback.
Thanks :D
Actually, your work is simple but good enough, but I find some grammatical errors. Such as "And then, they lives in a small modest's apartment". You should write "And then, they live in a small modest's apartment". Thanks :)
BalasHapusBefore it, Thanks for your feedback. Jay, are you sure if in my posting there is only one mistake. Really ??
BalasHapusHehe :D
I would like to give a feedback for your work.
BalasHapusI find a sentence "I will a build a big mosque for my village because that is one of my dream when I was a child.
you should write without "a" after "will"
so, the correct sentence is "I will build a big mosque for my village because that is one of my dream when I was a child"
Hi Andina, I'd like to give some feedbacks for your work.
BalasHapusFirst, the sentence of "That website, he launched in February 2004" is incorrect. The preposition of month is using "on". So, the correct sentence is "That website, he launched on February 2004".
Second, the word "bussy" in the sentence of "He worked very bussy during he has managing the facebook" is incorrect. The correct word is "busy".
Then, the sentence of "And then, they lives in a small modest's apartmen". It's should be "And then, they live in a small modest's apartment". Because the word "they" is plural.
Thank you. :-)
Actually my feedback same as the other. But, I think there are some sentences incorrect.
BalasHapusSuch as "After, I work for 3 or 4 years",it is better not to use a comma. You should write "After I work for 3 or 4 years". And than, the sentence of "I will a build a big mosque for my village", you should write "I will build a big mosque for my village".
Thanks Ema, you remind me in my posting :D
BalasHapusThanks Ika, for your feedbacks. I forget it. Thank you so much.. :D
BalasHapusThank you Endang. Because you gave me feedbacks. You remind me. Thank you so much. :D
BalasHapusKomentar ini telah dihapus oleh pengarang.
BalasHapusHi andinaaaa:D Your article is good enough but there are some mistakes. Let me revise it.
BalasHapus1. "Good Night Miss Uut.
Good Night Guys."
I think you should say "Good Evening" because Good Night is used when we are going to bed.
2. Mark Zuckerberg is an intellegent person who founded Facebook.
It must be "Mark Zuckkerberg is an intellegent person who found Facebook" because the past word from Find is found.
3.Too much dreams which I want, and it make me confused to choose it.
It must be "too much dreams which I want, and it makes me confuse to choose it"