Kamis, 23 April 2015
Nurhayati
Subakat -The Owner of Wardah Cosmetic
Nurhayati
Subakat, is a successful businessman i know about. She was born in Padang
Panjang, West Sumatera 27 July, 1950. And now, she is 64 years old. She is a cosmetics businessman from Indonesia.
She is a president director of
PT. Paragon Technology & Innovation (PTI). PTI is a company cosmetics which manages the cosmetic’s
brand of Wardah and Zahra Muslim.
She is the second daughter of eight
children.
She graduated from Institute of Technology Bandung (ITB) majoring at Pharmacy
department.
Nurhayati
Subakat began the career as a pharmacist at the General Hospital in Padang.
Then, she moved to Jakarta and worked as a quality control staff one of the
cosmetic companies. From here, she has initiative to build own business. Now,
PTI already has two factories located in Tangerang and Cibodas with 4.500
employees in Indonesia.
The product that she produced are shampoo, make-up, and baby product.
In 2006, the growth of cosmetic
products shot up above 90 percent. It has a factory covering an area of 6,5
hectares and become the biggest brand in Indonesia.
Finally, she got many awards, such as Indonesia Customer Satisfaction Award from Frontier Consulting Group and
Top Brand 2014 and from the Matahari Department Store as a local product.
Until
now, Wardah is
the only cosmetic
products in Indonesia
which upholds of “halal”
concept. Wardah has a great chance for the majority
of
Muslim in Indonesia.
But,
she still harbored a willingness
to bring their products to the international market and compete with product
cosmetics from outside.
I have never known her before I read your work. Thanks. :)
BalasHapusI think you should write "cosmetic company" not "company cosmetic" :)
I have never known her before I read your work. Thanks. :)
BalasHapusI think you should write "cosmetic company" not "company cosmetic" :)
hy Ema let me correct some of your assigmnent :)
BalasHapusNurhayati Subakat, is a successful businessman 'i' know about.
You should write 'i' in capital letter. So, u can replace in "Nurhayati Subakat, is a successful businessman 'I' know about."
Nurhayati Subakat began 'the career' as a pharmacist at the General Hospital in Padang.
I think the setence will be better if u replace 'the career' to 'her career'.
Nurhayati Subakat began 'her career' as a pharmacist at the General Hospital in Padang.
From here, she has initiative to build 'own business'.
The setence will be better if u replace 'own business' to 'her own business'.
From here, she has initiative to build 'her own business'.
That's my feedback, I hope you can give me some feedback too. Thanks :*
Before it, thanks Ema for your feedbacks in my posting. I will give you feedbacks too.
BalasHapus1. Finally, she got many awards, such as Indonesia Customer Satisfaction Award from Frontier Consulting Group and Top Brand 2014 and from the Matahari Department Store as a local product.
Andina : Ema, I think you less add punctuation in finally Top Brand 2014.
“....Top Brand 2014, and from the Matahari Department Store as a local product.”
2. Ema, in dictionary written “Moslem” word like this, not “Muslim” because “Muslim” word is Indonesia Language.
3. I think you should change “international market” to be “International Market” because it words is the name of the market. So you use capital letter on the first of the words.
Hello Ema, I will give some feedback for you.
BalasHapus- Nurhayati Subakat, is a successful businessman i know about.
I think you must write your sentence like this:
Nurhayati Subakat, is a successful businessman “that I knew”.
- She is a president director of PT. Paragon Technology & Innovation (PTI).
I think you must write your sentence like this:
She is a “President Director” of PT. Paragon Technology & Innovation (PTI).
- PTI is a company cosmetics which manages the cosmetic’s brand of Wardah and Zahra Muslim.
I think you must write your sentence like this:
PTI is a “cosmetics company” which manages the cosmetic’s brand of Wardah and Zahra Muslim.
- She is the second daughter of eight children.
I think it will be better if you write “eight siblings”.
She is the second daughter of “eight siblings”.
- From here, she has initiative to build own business.
I think you should use “had” not “has” because I think it is Past Tense.
From here, she “had” initiative to build own business.
- It has a factory covering an area of 6,5 hectares and become the biggest brand in Indonesia.
I think you must replace subject “It” with the specific subject and use “V2” in here because I think it is Past Tense.
“Her company” “had” a factory covering an area of 6,5 hectares and “became” the biggest brand in Indonesia.
- But, she still harbored a willingness to bring their products to the international market and compete with product cosmetics from outside.
I think you must replace “product cosmetics” with “cosmetics product”
But, she still harbored a willingness to bring their products to the international market and compete with “cosmetics product” from outside.
Okee.. that is my feedback. And thanks for your feedback in my work too.
:D
Hi Emaaa :D I think your articel is good enough. But there are some mistakes in your sentences. Let me revise it.
BalasHapus1. Nurhayati Subakat, is a successful businessman i know about.
I think it must be "businesswoman"
2. She was born in Padang Panjang, West Sumatera 27 July, 1950.
The correct one is "27th of July"
3. But, she still harbored a willingness to bring their products to the international market and compete with product cosmetics from outside.
You should write it "International Market"
That's my feedback. I hope you'll give your feedback to my work too. Thanks. :)
Thanks Jay, Innes, Andina, Uswatun, and Putri for your feedbacks.
BalasHapusI wiil use that to revise my work. :D